VERBATIM | fuck this shit pt II « Urban Molecule

VERBATIM | fuck this shit pt II

15Aug08

Taking a Ride “Beyond Petroleum“
by Ulises Silva

Yesterday I voiced dissent against the status quo by targeting an infamous dating service with the truth.

I’m sure my proposed questionnaire wouldn’t drive away all potential clients, but I’d like to think there would be enough of us to take a nice chunk of business away. But how do you deal with something a bit more essential than dating? For instance, the 40 billion dollar question: are oil companies actually doing everything possible to save the environment?

Oil companies like Exxon Mobil and Chevron are making record profits, insisting they’re on our side, all the while investing their billions into research and development (if by “research and development” they mean their own inflated stock). But they’ll tell you the cash and ideas are flowing into the environment. Leading designers changed the company’s logo to a green and yellow sun to state how much BP “loves” the environment. Then came the TV ads, asking us to believe oil companies were actually working toward a solution to global warming. Incredible!

Ever since gas hit $4 a gallon, money’s gotten tighter, and people have been rightfully pissed. Does that mean we’re screwed? Not necessarily. Remember, there are ways to work within the status quo. And you can have fun doing it.

Wouldn’t it be great if, somewhere deep within the bowels of BP or Chevron or one of those other oil companies, there were a fiery soul who disagreed and spoke against the madness by telling the truth? So the next time that “we’re part of the solution” TV ad aired, it would sound a little different…

At BP, we know we’re part of the problem. But you know what? Fuck you. (Yes, we said fuck you.) You can bitch all you want about gas prices, and you can throw your little tantrums about how we contribute to global warming and how we manipulate the government to gouge you and get away with it (right, like we’re the only ones doing that). But you know what? Fuck you. You think we give a shit? What about the environment? You think we want to invest our tens of billions into cleaner, alternative fuel sources, while there are still billions and billions to be made in oil? Yeah, keep dreaming, dip-shit. We’ll keep charging $4 a gallon, and you’ll keep buying, and that’s that.

Oh, what’s that? You’re not going to drive anymore? You’re going to ride a bike to work? Yeah, you do that. Go ahead and bike from your suburban sprawl 45 minutes from your job, and see how long that lasts. You’ll be crawling back to your SUV within days. And then you’ll be filling up at one of our gas stations. So yeah, fuck you. You’re stuck buying gas from us, and we don’t have to pretend we give two fucks about you and your precious Earth. So bitch away: we could use the laugh.

BP: we love fucking you over because we can.

On second thought, scratch that idea. I think this is in that fine print under each of their ads anyway.

The more we think about it, the more ways we can speak out against the status quo. And they don’t have to involve screaming at grinning politicians and CEOs, or pulling hair out, or even moving to Canada. If we think the status quo sucks, we shouldn’t oppose it. We should run with it. And do our best to help status quo-lovers everywhere expand their message with a bit of brutal honesty.

All it takes is a little snark, a dash of moxie, and a fiery conviction to do what’s right. Oh, and a willingness to be unemployed for a while.

image: “BP Exec” – Nick Turner

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